Becoming 75

by Barbara Anne Radtke

Recently I celebrated my 75th birthday. [Apologies to my grandmother for not following her advice, indirectly shared, that a lady is always coy about her age.] For the most part, they have been 75 years of blessings with wonderful family, a supportive spouse, good friends, and exceptional companions in learning.

When I turned 70, I felt the adventure of retirement stretching before me. With 75 comes a realization. This year I have a stronger sense that I have fewer days ahead of me than I have behind. This realization makes me savor every day as gift and find a poignant edge to every joy.

Looking back, I see I was part of women struggling to come of age in the public sphere and in the Catholic Church. In high school, I wrote to the American Institute of Architects about pursuing architecture as a career. They sent a brochure saying they did not advise this profession for women. Now women regularly win awards in the architectural field. When I decided to change my major to Theology/Religious Education, people asked if I was “going to enter the convent.” They could not imagine that a lay woman would pursue this study or would ever be called minister.

My life has spanned the emergence of the electronic age. We had one of the first televisions in our neighborhood; my dad built one of the first computers that my friends or I had ever seen. One afternoon, he and I, as a young adult, sat at our dining room table and played a little game he had created on the Radio Shack computer he had built. I realize now that his game was teaching me the basic programming techniques. He was telling me: “You can do this, too.”

I have decided a 75th birthday is big enough to be mindful of it all year long. How would you recommend that I mark it? I have these ideas in mind:

· I am going to contact seven friends with whom I had lost touch – one for each decade I have completed. I did that for my 70th. It was such a rewarding search to find them and have a visit – some of them in person.

· In my continuing quest to down size, I am going to give 75 things away – some of them will be ordinary things like an extra toaster or a blanket that I do not need or use. Some of the 75 things will be more precious to me like Christmas ornaments because I no longer decorate a tree every year.

· I am also reading a book or an article or seeing a documentary about the period of each presidency in the U.S. Many times in its history, American democracy has been troubled. I am looking to see how history can help us find a way out of the divisions that restrict our flourishing today. I’ll let you know if I get any insights.

· Finally, I am going to try seven new cookie recipes. Usually I bake cookies on snow days. Hopefully, Mother Nature will NOT provide seven snow storms and I will learn to bake in the sunshine.

Response

By Kathy Hendricks

First of all – Happy birthday, Barbara!

Your post contains so many wonderful observations about aging and an appreciation for the span of life. Like you, I can name enormous changes that have occurred during my 73 years of life. One of them is freely admitting to our age – and with pride – as opposed to our grandmothers’ coyness about the number of years we have racked up. Technological advances have led to a huge changes around the way we communicate, take in news and information, and navigate our way through town or across the country. Awaiting “reruns” was the only way to view missed television programs and so I am very grateful for streaming services that allow great flexibility and an array of choices. While the glass ceiling for women hasn’t completely shattered, it has sustained enormous cracks. Your experience of women being steered away from the field of architecture is a striking example of this. I, for one, am glad that you took the path of theology and religious education. So many people have benefited from your knowledge and wisdom.

I have no better suggestions for ways to celebrate your 75 years of life other than the ones you mentioned. Each one sounds delightful and I hope you will send a package of cookies my way! What stands out in each is the aspect of generativity than comes with these years. Rather than acquiring more stuff, you are expressing a desire to jettison that which no longer serves a purpose. In doing so, you open up the possibility of generating something richer: more connection, more knowledge, more joy for others. This makes this a most appropriate birthday gift – one that keeps on giving. (This phrase, by the way, was first used as part of an ad for the Victor Talking Machine in the 1920’s!)

So, dear reader, we look forward to your thoughts on this as well as your suggestions for Barbara’s yearlong celebration of turning 75!