Betty White and the Wisdom of Older Women

Kathy Hendricks

We all loved Betty White. This was obvious when she trended for the past few years on Twitter and alarms about her health set off a firestorm of concerned tweets. Her recent death drew numerous tributes to her wit and charm, particularly her portrayal of what one obituary called her “sweetly sarcastic senior citizen characters.” I must admit to some mixed feelings about such tributes. For one thing, Betty White had a career that spanned eight decades. She began playing characters on radio programs and then moved to television, making her a pioneer of both mediums. Thus her “senior citizen” roles were a sliver of a long and remarkable resume. In that regard she may have inadvertently given rise to the typecasting and stereotyping of older women as silly and therefore easily dismissed. Now that I have reached the “senior citizen” classification, such stereotypes are even more egregious.

Perhaps I am overly sensitive to this issue because of my own experience with older women. My mother, Margaret Seep, was well into her sixties by the time I entered college. While foundering around in my search for a vocation and career, I was just beginning to appreciate the friendships she formed with women of wisdom. Those most cherished were made through her participation in the Sacred Heart Alumnae – a group of women educated by the Sisters of the Society of the Sacred Heart. Established in the wake of the French Revolution, RCSJ schools provided an education for girls that broadened their minds and offered a global worldview. Mom’s alumnae group met monthly and included a guest speaker followed by lunch and conversation. A Jesuit priest served as their chaplain and kept them up to date on the liturgical reforms that were happening in the Church as a result of the recently-adjourned Second Vatican Council. I used to join the women on occasion and came away impressed by their intelligence and open-mindedness. They were incredibly interested in my life and even invited me to be a presenter by sharing my experience as a volunteer teacher in a mission school in British Columbia. No doubt it was cross-generational occasions like these that make me a bit touchy when it comes to films and television programs that depict older women as ditzy, obsessed with young, hot men, or slightly demented.

Over twenty years ago, Joyce Tenneson published a book called Wise Women - a collection of sepia portraits of older women that showcase both their outer and inner beauty. Some are women of renown, such as Sandra Day O’Connor and Lauren Bacall, while others are from everyday walks of life. In the introduction to the book, Tenneson notes that our assumption about old age is that it is a time of “degeneration, when physical and mental qualities are in sharp decline.” What we fail to recognize, however, is “the energy, vitality, wisdom, and deep beauty possible in these later years.” Betty White didn’t make it into the book, although at the time she would have qualified age-wise. What will continue to make her so beloved was her positive take on life and observations that went well beyond being “a lucky old broad.” Her legacy will bear out a woman’s wisdom that recognizes the grace in aging as well as the vitality and creativity made possible no matter what our stage in life.

A Response from Barbara Radtke

Kathy, thanks for giving us an opportunity to remember Betty White. I think of her as a savvy woman who handled her own career well. I know her work primarily through The Golden Girls, where she played Rose, a naïve Midwesterner transplanted in Florida. She dazzled in her performances, displaying a mature and well-crafted understanding of the timing that is so important to a comic. The support and voice that she gave to promoting the rights of animals is an example of enduring advocacy. Readers, how do you remember her?

Kathy also points to the stereotyping of older women. My thought: We are multidimensional personalities often caught in a one-dimensional characterization. Hollywood makes of its stars what we are often made of by society. To Kathy’s Hollywood list of traits, I would add clueless, judgmental, and/or eccentric. Ultimately “older women” or “old women,” however we are described, are often dismissed.

Kathy’s account of her mother, Margaret Seep, and the Sacred Heart Alumnae gives us a glimpse of women taking themselves seriously and being taken seriously. It’s a great example of the kind of space and company we need to seek out or create for ourselves.