Friends and Mentors

By Kathy Hendricks

My friend, Janaan, died a few days ago. Although she was in her late 90’s, her passing is still a bit hard to absorb. For decades she has been not only a loving friend but also a wise and supportive mentor. Along with her devoted husband, Carl, Janaan developed some of the first materials to emerge from the catechetical renewal at the close of the Second Vatican Council. I first met them while on a team of presenters for a series of summer workshops for religious educators. Janaan was warm and witty and sat in on my first presentation with a look of great support and affirmation. I can now fully admit that it was dismal. I was just starting to find my voice as a public speaker and my material was far from enlightened. Over the years, both she and Carl inspired and encouraged me as I embarked on a stint as a publishing consultant, author, and spiritual director.

Janaan is one of four great women who mentored me in different ways over the years. With three of them now gone and the fourth in her early 90’s, I am all the more aware of the gift they offered through the examples they set and the sparseness of their advice. Such is the role of an effective mentor. They stand by while you make mistakes and bumble your way through stages of learning. Sometimes they offer little gems of wisdom that stick with you and provide a grounding point when doubt about your abilities or direction creep in. When worrying about my lack of fervor for social justice activity, Helen told me I was meant to “charm, not alarm.” It framed beautifully one of my strengths. Dolores cautioned me in an all-caps email against taking a job merely for the pay, noting how it would steal away my soul. Lou gently drew me away from feelings of failure after I was terminated from a job and stood ready to offer encouragement as new directions opened up.

All four of these women experienced their own share of disillusionment and disappointment but grew all the wiser because of it. Their lives spoke more than their words and, in that, gave me something to aspire to. As I watch the tenor of conversation in our culture grow more strident, the need for wise mentors becomes all the more urgent – particularly for young women. We all have our “dismal” moments and clumsy efforts. Having someone with expertise and a broader perspective cheer us on provides the confidence, wobbly as it might be, to carry on and trust in our own abilities and gifts. Janaan offered that to me in spades. I will be forever grateful for it.

Response by Barbara Anne Radtke

Kathy, I am sorry for your loss. I did not know Janaan personally, but I was influenced by her work in religious education at the beginning of my ministry.  I heard her speak several times and recall her gentle presence. How fortunate you were to have her as a mentor.

To have a mentor is to have a cherished relationship.  As you shared so well, a mentor helps us “learn the ropes,” identify and develop our special gifts and talents, and picks up the pieces when we fall apart or fall down. Finally, a mentor teaches us how to extend ourselves as mentors and to be a good one ourselves when the timing is right. Even if we never identify as someone’s mentor, we have a sense of being a role model to the next generation. That is invaluable not only to people developing their career path but to the trade, industry, or institution itself.

I am sure your stories bring to our readers’ minds those who mentored them. Perhaps, dear reader, you would like to mention your mentor or at least acknowledge them. I will get the ball rolling: I think of Mary, who took me under her wing when I was new at teaching undergraduates, and Bob, who stuck with me as I learned to launch an initiative in a large university.