Growing Gracefully

©Photo by Ron Hendricks

By Kathy Hendricks

I am still striving to be like Aunt Julia. Although she died a few years ago, I continue to be warmed by her spirit, her easy laugh, and her generous heart. As the only surviving sibling in a large family, she held stories and memories that tell of another era. Her father died when she was ten and her older brother took on the role of patriarch when he was in his mid-teens. Only two children in their large family went to high school; all of them, except Julia, worked in a local shoe factory. She studied nursing, married, raised a family, and moved from New York to Florida. I am not privy to many other details of her life, having “inherited” her as my aunt-in-law. Even so, the visits we had with her were always memorable. She lived well into her nineties but never lost her interest in life, her kind spirit, and her terrific laugh.

The last time we saw her, she gave me some sage advice:

"Enjoy life.”

“Take things a day at a time.”

“Do what you love, and, as you age, do it slower.”

It’s the last one that sticks with me. On this side of retirement, I can do more of the things I love as well as take my time with each one. Taking walks by the Arkansas River. Reading books to my grandchildren. Writing about topics of interest to me. Going out on our bedroom balcony each morning and evening to watch the emergence of dawn and dusk.

I once read that, as we grow older, we smile less with each decade. It’s a depressing thought. Therefore, as I recall Aunt Julia’s sweet laughter, I look for something to smile about each day. It’s all part of growing gracefully – something that takes time and intention. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this, dear readers. What safe advice is helping you grow gracefully?

Response by Barbara Radtke

Kathy, how I would have loved to meet Aunt Julia. Thank you for the next best thing – your memories of her! Reading your recollections, one word comes to mind: “savor.” To enjoy; to take things slow; to do what we love. This is a time to savor life.

The words “savor” and “savory” seem to have similar roots deep in the French language. Savory suggests to me pungent, salty and spicy flavors. Sweet and savory are great combinations. Who doesn’t like salted caramel ice cream? As we savor these moments enjoying life, we also are aware of the spicy with the sweet. Much of life is behind us. This awareness makes a perfect visit, a lovely day, a good book, a hug from a nephew not only sweeter but touched with the poignant, the savory.

As for help with aging gracefully: the best advice came from my mom in one of our last visits. I asked her, after a long silence of sitting together contentedly, if she had any regrets. “I cleaned far too much.” she said. As my sister can attest, I took that advice immediately to heart. :)