Phishing and Elders

Barbara Radtke

A family member told me that an acquaintance was recently scammed out of a great deal of her life savings. An older woman, she thought she was being cautious, but she was bilked out of money from someone with whom she thought she was beginning a relationship online. The events upended her life. She needed to relocate to a place with a less expensive cost of living. She had to take up full-time employment again. In addition to other emotional wounds, her self-confidence plummeted. “Stupid” was the word she used to describe herself. I am not sure she had any measure of self-compassion.

I, too, had a friend who was swindled out of money about a decade ago. In her eighties, bright and alert to the ways of the world, she was notified that her grandson was in jail and needed help for bail. To her, it was a plausible story and she wired money. Once in, she realized her mistake. Embarrassed to tell her adult children, she asked me for help. Several years and a lot of paperwork later, she actually recovered most of the money.

Anyone can be a victim of phishing and scamming, but the target is often older people. I used to think that it was because older women and men were less savvy about the ways of the world especially all the digital developments. Now, I think that even those cautious and savvy can be fooled. The scammers have become very sophisticated. I recently received a document in the mail that looked very much like a 1099 or something I needed to file with my income tax. It was asking for information. In a font so small that we could call it “minus 2 point,” in a very obscure location in the form, it had a disclaimer that it was not government associated.

Scammers not only prey on loneliness, compassion for others, and the desire to help, but they depend on embarrassment and feelings like being “stupid,” to create a cone of silence around the narratives people could tell. The best advice my relative gave to the survivor of the romance scam was to try to muster the courage to tell her story; it would prevent so many others from getting hurt. Organizations such as the Social Security Administration and the AARP provide reliable information to help one spot a scam.

Is there something more we can do? First, I used to think this happened to “the other guy,” but now, I do not exempt myself as being a target. Second, my friends and I often show each other the questionable things that have come our way as a means of testing our judgment, finding shared wisdom, and making known a potential danger. Do you, readers, have any strategies to prevent and curtail scams aimed at older folks?

Kathy Hendricks is on a blog break this week.