Positive Masculinity

Wishing all fathers, grandfathers, godfathers, and father figures a very Happy Father's Day!

By Kathy Hendricks

I don’t personally know any “BROs” – the subculture of young men who revel in being alpha males. Nor do I know any “doofus dads” – the sitcom characters who are forever bumbling and noticeably less intelligent than their savvy wives.

Most of the men I have known throughout my life displayed an inspiring mix of strength and compassion, of integrity and gentleness, of honor and humility. My father was a successful businessman who also felt a responsibility to give back to the community. He encouraged me to travel in order to broaden my horizons and had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. He read three newspapers each day and subscribed to at least a dozen magazines. I once recall him explaining to me how patents worked after reading the side of a milk carton at the breakfast table. He played ragtime piano by ear and had a wry sense of humor. My two brothers followed in his footsteps in their own ways – one being a consummate engineer and loving father and grandfather, and the other a multi-talented musician and artist.

After I married Ron 49 years ago, my mother told me that he would never hurt me. Her observation proved to be true as I can’t think of one time in which he did something to wound or diminish me. He has been a tremendous source of support, encouragement, and affirmation as I delved into my work and tried my best as a mother and grandmother. Like so many men of integrity, he doesn’t need to demonstrate his strength through bravado or bloviating. My son and five nephews all exhibit similar traits.

This characterizes the many men I have known through personal and professional relationships. They inspire through their actions and respectful treatment of others. When googling “most popular dad figure in movies” it is not surprising to see Gregory Peck’s portrayal of Atticus Finch pop up. He is a gentle figure who listens with patience and fairness to his children, gives a passionate defense of a man falsely accused of a crime because of his skin color, and shoots down a rabid dog with precision. The latter serves as a metaphor for the way he stands up to a bully who spits in his face.

Part of the rationale behind the BRO movement might be attributed to the mocking of men in popular media. It is unfortunate as it seems to me that there are many more positive forms of masculinity that could be drawn upon. These are ones that value the kind of integrity, compassion, and strength I have been fortunate to know in the men I have loved and admired.

Barbara is offline for a few weeks but we hope to hear from our readers about their own experiences of positive masculinity.

Photo by ©Ron Hendricks - Used with permission